What About Marriage Counseling?

Issues in marriage require short and long-term solutions. No one enters marriage looking to be adversarial.  Bad situations become worse when one or both partners try to win instead of finding genuine reconciliation. 

Short-term solutions can be found in many places. That's often fine if it's only a short-term problem. The frustration comes when those solutions never resolve long-term problems. The inner "landmines" keep getting triggered and the dysfunctional cycles continue.

So if you are looking for someone to simply sit in the middle of you and your spouse while each tells his or her own side, then we’re not the place for you. But if you are looking for lasting results, we believe there is a better way.

We do meet with couples and will take time to put the issues on the table. But once the issues are in the light, each person, time permitting, will have the opportunity to step into our MELT process. 

What if I'm ready to come, but my spouse isn't?

Don't let the hesitation or resistance of your spouse get in the way of your healing. As one person said, "I realized that even if my spouse didn't want to deal with our marriage issues, I needed healing. Coming to CrossCounsel has renewed my hope." 

What Else Do I need to Know?

There are many things, but conflict in marriage almost always triggers an angry response. Anger can be projected outward or stuffed inward. Regardless, our minds are well-accustomed to using anger as a way of protecting our deeper hurts - which are fueled by our deeply held beliefs. This self-protective response happens in a fraction of a second.  It becomes a ping-pong match of pain. One person's lie-based thinking smacks up against the other person's lie-based thinking.  Both individuals are then triggered and therefore cannot communicate effectively or even willingly.  The cycle continues as long as the lies are there.  

As each person is willing to take responsibility for his or her thinking, not blame anyone else, and then allow the Lord to exchange the lie based thinking for His truth, we find that couples begin to relate better with each other.  Spouses discover that the major landmines that used to be in their marriage are no longer there.  Other issues may then surface, but those who are faithful to this process will continue to see their lives transformed. When this happens, it gives couples a much greater chance for forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration.